It's been 3 months since I have been back in the United States and I've been a little bit quiet, because truthfully I had no clue what had hit me. The transition back to life in America was much harder than I could have anticipated. My mind, and body were exhausted from the long-term travel. The world got a lot louder when I began to understand what people were saying. Reverse culture shock hit me pretty hard (yes, it's a real thing). Parting ways with my traveling family was incredibly difficult. I felt like I stepped off the plane, and suddenly just fell into "life" again...except I wasn't going back to my previous life in Boston, nor was I continuing with my fast pace digital nomad life around the world. I was moving to a brand new city, and had all of the freedom to create whatever boundaries I wanted or needed. In the months leading up to the end of my trip I put together all the pieces of insight, and discoveries from the past year. I was sure that I'll be happy when:
- I can stay in one place for longer than a month & not live out of a suitcase
- I live in the same city as my boyfriend & end the long distance
- I get a new job that challenges me intellectually, and creatively
- I can get back to cooking in my own kitchen regularly again
- I build better routines & get to a yoga studio or gym consistently
I realized that I had created this expectation that once my year abroad was over, and I reached certain milestones then I would just feel better, and somehow my daily struggles would be less hard. It makes sense to think that when we achieve something important to us we'll feel happy. But the reality is that it doesn't really work that way. It doesn't account for the complexities of life, and all the circumstances outside of our control. And it most certainly does not honor the many dimensions of our human experiences, and feelings.
"We work so hard to get somewhere, to realize a dream, to arrive at some destination, that we often forget that though some satisfaction may be waiting at the end of our endurance, and effort, there is great and irreplaceable aliveness in the steps along the way." -Mark Nepo
Happiness is a moving baseline, and may continue to be a changing target for many of us, but every new day offers another chance to keep trying. I realized that I needed to change my perspective of "I'll be happy when..." to I'm happier now because...
- I get to build my own sanctuary with the treasures I've collected & travel at a pace that serves me
- I wake up everyday to the love of my life
- I am able to work remotely on a team that allows me to honor the environments that make me most productive & creative
- I have access to the resources that help me eat well for nourishing beauty, inside and out
- I am living my yoga, and finding the spiritual in everyday life
This shift on my view of happiness has helped me treat myself with more compassion, and bring more presence into my life. This transition period helped me practice finding things in my life that truly make me happier. Recognizing the subtle things along the way helps increase awareness of the moments, experiences, and human connections that bring more joy, and meaning. Being happier now is a catalyst to allowing more flow. Flow enables us to experience joy with a renewed sense of energy that empowers us to attract, and create at the highest possible level.
Although my Remote Year is officially over, my journey continues. Many have asked if I'm finally "settling down" now, and the short answer is no. I'm back in my home country in a new city living life through a very different lens. I'm focused on subtle ideas of newness, and taking notice of the things that have been there all along. The curiosity for knowledge, learning, and growth has only gotten stronger. The desire to continue exploring, and traveling is burning brighter than it ever has.
"Exploration and all it entails-- finding yourself, finding home-- only works if we give our discoveries a chance to strengthen their hold on us." -Rainesford Stauffer
I'm pretty excited for what 2019 is going to bring, and will continue sharing my experiences, stories, and connections as they flow. As we head into 2019, consider alternative "New Year's Resolutions."
- Give thanks to your life exactly as it is.
- Decide that 2019 will be your happiest year yet.
- Every day, follow your heart & instincts down new paths.
- Embrace every moment by letting yourself feel happier now, with where you are, and how you are.